As we age—and as our own health or that of our loved ones changes—it’s crucial to stay mindful of a sometimes subtle, often surprising reality: the health of the mind and body can diverge dramatically, with either potentially declining in ways we’re unprepared for. In our younger years, we might assume that our health or that of our loved ones will follow a predictable path, but time and experience often prove otherwise. Some of us face the shock of an unexpected passing after a seemingly minor operation, while others may watch a family member’s mind fade slowly over the years.
One friend of ours was utterly blindsided when her father, just turned ninety, passed away suddenly following a surgery. Emotionally unprepared, she was suddenly faced with the practical challenges of managing her father’s affairs, only to discover she had no access to accounts or essential information. By contrast, another friend found himself in a somewhat fortunate position: his mother, after being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, had her affairs meticulously organized. Though her memory slowly declined, her documents were in good order, saving the family from a host of logistical and financial challenges. But not all families have this luck. For yet another friend, the onset of dementia meant that when the family realized changes to his will were needed, it was too late—there was no longer any legal opportunity to revise it.
Further, we may not always be in the supporting role in this story; the person with a mind-body disconnect could be us, and it could happen at any time. A sudden cognitive decline, a severe illness, or an unexpected passing could leave our own loved ones in a challenging position, navigating affairs we were unable to prepare with them in advance. Considering this possibility adds urgency to our planning—it’s not only about organizing for others, but about taking steps now to protect those closest to us in the event we are no longer able to do so.
Here at Blair Hall Advisors, we’re not attorneys, but we’ve guided many families in taking control of their futures. Our dozen tips below offer practical ways to design your estate planning to account for the mind-body mismatch problem and ensure you’re prepared for life’s unexpected turns.
1. Regular Reviews Are Essential
It’s tempting to create estate planning documents once and then forget them. But as life changes, our intentions and the people we trust may change, too. We recommend reviewing your will, trusts, durable power of attorney, and healthcare power of attorney every three to five years or after significant life events—marriage, divorce, births, deaths, or changes in health. Regular reviews help prevent confusion and ensure your documents align with current intentions.
For example, in the case of mental decline, it’s important to keep these documents updated so your chosen proxies have the authority to act in your best interest if you lose the ability to do so.
2. Keep a Detailed Inventory of Your Assets—Including Digital Ones
In our increasingly digital world, many of us overlook the need to account for online-only assets—email accounts, social media profiles, and online financial accounts. Include these in your estate plan and consider a password manager to securely store instructions for your digital accounts. A comprehensive, accessible inventory can save your loved ones the headache of searching for accounts and untangling online assets when you’re no longer able to help.
3. Stay Up-to-Date with Beneficiary Designations
Financial accounts, insurance policies, and retirement plans typically have designated beneficiaries, which need periodic reviews. Life changes such as marriage, divorce, or the birth of children can easily make previous designations outdated. Regularly updating these designations ensures your assets go where you intend.
4. Designate Backup People for Every Key Role
In critical moments, even our most reliable choices may be unavailable—due to travel, illness, or personal overwhelm. That’s why it’s essential to name backups for every key role in your documents. Additionally, have open conversations with these people to ensure they’re willing and capable of stepping in. If someone isn’t familiar with your plans or willing to engage, consider alternative candidates.
5. Maintain Digital Copies and Secure Storage
Digital copies of legal documents enhance accessibility and ensure preparedness during emergencies. Consider secure cloud storage, and remember to share access instructions with trusted individuals who can access your files if needed. However, this doesn’t replace the need to keep original, signed copies in a secure, known location.
6. Share a List of Key Contacts and Professionals
An accessible contact list of trusted family members, friends, and professionals—especially those who understand your financial assets and insurance policies—can save your loved ones unnecessary frustration. Share this list through cloud-based software, and review it annually.
7. Plan Carefully for Children and Dependents
In addition to assets, careful planning for children and other dependents is vital. Ensure that custody arrangements for minor children are in place, and consider appointing backup guardians—possibly friends with similar family values. Don’t forget to address the needs of pets, who also rely on you for planning.
8. Don’t Overlook Your Business
If you own a business, it’s essential to address its future in your estate plan. Businesses often go unmentioned, which can create chaos and even financial loss. With proper documentation, you can protect your business and maintain its value in case of illness or death, ensuring a smooth transition.
9. Plan for the Right Timing with Younger Beneficiaries
It’s tempting to consider someone legally adult at 18 or 21 as ready to manage an inheritance, but consider their maturity and financial responsibility before transferring control. Depending on your judgment, you may wish to withhold access until a later age.
10. Encourage Loved Ones to Prepare Their Own Affairs
Estate planning isn’t solely about making sure you’re ready; it’s also about encouraging your family members to prepare their own legal and logistical plans. If a family member passes without clear and organized documents, the resulting workload can multiply dramatically for the relatives handling their affairs.
This can be especially challenging when other adults, such as aging parents, siblings, aunts, or uncles, may not feel motivated to get organized. While we don’t have a simple answer for motivating others, it helps to acknowledge the difficulties and gently encourage family members to create or update their own estate plans. Sharing this article with them could be a meaningful step toward that goal!
11. Make Annual Steps Toward Emotional Preparedness
Equipping your loved ones for the inevitable isn’t solely about organization; it’s about emotional readiness as well. In our own households, for example, we have a habit of discussing practical steps twice a year to ensure that each of us knows where essential files are and how to access one another’s passwords if needed. Integrating this into an annual routine serves as a gentle way to face the reality of mortality without overwhelming emotionality. By connecting a straightforward task—such as reviewing passwords or discussing file locations—with these conversations, you can ease into the topic, helping loved ones become accustomed to the practicalities they may one day need to handle.
12. Know What You’re Signing
Estate documents often contain legal language, but much of it should be clear. Take the time to read, understand, and question anything unfamiliar. These are your wishes—your guarantee that your legacy aligns with your intentions. Don’t hesitate to ask questions of your attorney to clarify.
In Closing
None of us can predict the exact course our lives will take, nor can we foresee the mental or physical challenges that may arise as we or our loved ones age. But by preparing carefully and regularly revisiting our estate documents and other personal records, we can reduce the likelihood of surprises for our families. These steps aren’t just about leaving instructions—they’re about ensuring the legacy and security we leave behind.
As always, we look forward to hearing from any of you—whether about this article or anything financial on your mind. Please contact us to open a conversation.
Note: Copyright, Blair Hall Advisors, LLC. No reproduction or distribution in whole or in part is allowed without our written permission.